The following is the first in a series of attempts at solving the world's problems using math that I'm developing on my whiteboard. Enjoy!
The Bedsheet Sufficiency Formula
Formula
B = 1.25[(lw) + Σ(πr2h)n]
Variables
B is the size of the blanket or sheet required to cover all people in the bed.
lw is the standard area formula for a quadrangle, in this case, the sheet.
πr2h is the formula for the area of a cylinder, in this case, a crude approximation of a person.
n is the fact that this formula works for any number of persons in the bed, to be added in sum.
Basis
I am often victimized by the nefarious sheet-stealers who have ruined countless nights of my sleep. In an attempt to remedy frigid nights in the future, I have developed this formula to ensure the warmth of generations of sleepers to come. Huzzah!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
10 things that irritate me to no end
1 Bigotry
2 Don Henley & The Eagles
3 Forrest Gump
4 Thoughtlessness
5 Pay subscription services online
6 Broccoli
7 Inability to accept responsibility
8 the leaky faucet
9 willful ignorance
10 Coldplay and anyone who likes them.
2 Don Henley & The Eagles
3 Forrest Gump
4 Thoughtlessness
5 Pay subscription services online
6 Broccoli
7 Inability to accept responsibility
8 the leaky faucet
9 willful ignorance
10 Coldplay and anyone who likes them.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Top 10 R.E.M. +ballad sandwich
As a longtime fan, it seemed like a good time as any to do a list. Trying to rank these would be just too much.
1) Begin the Begin
2) Wendell Gee/Find The River/Perfect Circle
3) Get Up
4) The One I Love
5) Fall On Me
6) Sitting Still
7) Pretty Persuasion
8) Wolves, Lower
9) Texarkana
10) Leave
1) Begin the Begin
2) Wendell Gee/Find The River/Perfect Circle
3) Get Up
4) The One I Love
5) Fall On Me
6) Sitting Still
7) Pretty Persuasion
8) Wolves, Lower
9) Texarkana
10) Leave
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Silent Sunday's 10
1) The Smiths were essentially a joke band aping on 60's girl groups and hyperbolizing misery for amusement. Got it?
2) My copy of Minor Threat's Complete Discography has a scratch. I'm not happy about this.
3) Some times are completely incapable of satisfaction.
4) Coldplay fails as a band because they lack soul... and they're plagiarists.
5) Fleet Foxes are interesting for about 90 seconds then it just gets boring. It was easily one of the most boring shows ever.
6) If the Eagles tour in 2012, you know the apocalypse is nigh.
7) Cat Stevens is better than Yusef Islam.
8) I know all the cool kids love The Doors, but I kind of think they were trying to be cool for coolness sake. (file under: Velvet Underground, U2, etc.)
9) Matthew Sweet and Tori Amos have records coming out. Is it 1993?
10) Although I like Bjork, really, I only love Medulla. Of course I'll still check out Biophilia.
2) My copy of Minor Threat's Complete Discography has a scratch. I'm not happy about this.
3) Some times are completely incapable of satisfaction.
4) Coldplay fails as a band because they lack soul... and they're plagiarists.
5) Fleet Foxes are interesting for about 90 seconds then it just gets boring. It was easily one of the most boring shows ever.
6) If the Eagles tour in 2012, you know the apocalypse is nigh.
7) Cat Stevens is better than Yusef Islam.
8) I know all the cool kids love The Doors, but I kind of think they were trying to be cool for coolness sake. (file under: Velvet Underground, U2, etc.)
9) Matthew Sweet and Tori Amos have records coming out. Is it 1993?
10) Although I like Bjork, really, I only love Medulla. Of course I'll still check out Biophilia.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
10 Rainy Thursday Edition vol 2
1) Seriously, another rainy thursday?
2) Gearing up for a quiet weekend.
3) Sitting.
4) What can a person do with a pint of tomatoes and more on the way?
5) Time to bring the dwarf plants inside.
6) I guess winter is coming up fast.
7) Chores, anyone?
8) Feels kind of sorry for Boston.
9) Baked Coconut soon.
10)A life of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches wouldn't be so bad.
2) Gearing up for a quiet weekend.
3) Sitting.
4) What can a person do with a pint of tomatoes and more on the way?
5) Time to bring the dwarf plants inside.
6) I guess winter is coming up fast.
7) Chores, anyone?
8) Feels kind of sorry for Boston.
9) Baked Coconut soon.
10)A life of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches wouldn't be so bad.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
10 x 2
What was
1) Always constantly building, but never finished.
2) Cat Stevens
3) Frustration
4) Static Friction
5) Joy Division/New Order
6) Potatoes
7) Time
8) 2
9) Hidden
10)Tragedy
What will be
1) Getting the job done
2) Yusef Islam
3) Acceptance
4) Kinetic Friction
5) Nothing
6) Potato Skins
7) Energy
8) 1 (I dunno about you, but I blame the economy for this!)
9) Revealed
10)Comedy.
1) Always constantly building, but never finished.
2) Cat Stevens
3) Frustration
4) Static Friction
5) Joy Division/New Order
6) Potatoes
7) Time
8) 2
9) Hidden
10)Tragedy
What will be
1) Getting the job done
2) Yusef Islam
3) Acceptance
4) Kinetic Friction
5) Nothing
6) Potato Skins
7) Energy
8) 1 (I dunno about you, but I blame the economy for this!)
9) Revealed
10)Comedy.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Everything Must Go
Everything Must Go is Will Ferrell's attempt at understated drama. It reminds me of Steve Carell in 'Dan in Real Life' or Jim Carrey in 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' or Steve Martin in 'Shopgirl'. Like it's compatriots, Everything Must Go take Will Ferrell out of straight comedy into an exploration of sadness. What we find in EMG is what we find in the other films--these comedy actors can act outside their medium and should probably spend more time exploring other genres. If it doesn't work out, there's always 'Elf 3:scrapping the bottom of Santa's bag' Perhaps, these actors are taking a page from Tom Hanks' playbook by transitioning from trivial comedy to heavier films. Fortunately, Ferrell, Carell, and Carrey all have far more range than Hanks' 'everyman persona'.
So, needless to say, Ferrell is refreshing in this role. It reminds me somewhat of Bill Murray's turn in 'Broken Flowers' where a man of a certain age finds his life has turned on its ear and he is left with the choice to continue the journey or lay passed out on the front lawn forever. Eventually, Ferrell makes the choice that Hollywood demands, but like any good understated film it doesn't give us a happy ending with a bow, but a glimmer of hope that life must go on.
What I do not entirely like about the film is the complete ruthlessness of the unseen estranged wife. Ferrell is taken by surprise at every turn. If I came home drunk as can be and found the locks changed, I'm breaking in. Ferrell has to stay on the lawn or there is no film.
In the end, this film is much more enjoyable if you've had a couple drinks beforehand.
My Score 3/5
So, needless to say, Ferrell is refreshing in this role. It reminds me somewhat of Bill Murray's turn in 'Broken Flowers' where a man of a certain age finds his life has turned on its ear and he is left with the choice to continue the journey or lay passed out on the front lawn forever. Eventually, Ferrell makes the choice that Hollywood demands, but like any good understated film it doesn't give us a happy ending with a bow, but a glimmer of hope that life must go on.
What I do not entirely like about the film is the complete ruthlessness of the unseen estranged wife. Ferrell is taken by surprise at every turn. If I came home drunk as can be and found the locks changed, I'm breaking in. Ferrell has to stay on the lawn or there is no film.
In the end, this film is much more enjoyable if you've had a couple drinks beforehand.
My Score 3/5
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